I've resigned from my position with IHF yesterday.
The children were wonderful, but the founder lady Carol was awful. She travels the world, going amongst her 6 orphanages, and communicates entirely via email on her Blackberry phone. I have never met her, and there was no training upon my arrival, nor was there an explicit explanation of expectations of my role as Co-Director. Her contact with me (and with everyone in the organization) has been consistently rude and offensive. She also tried to control everything we did- we had to ask permission to even send emails out about IHF when recruiting teachers or comunicating with overseas volunteers. This made it really difficult to accomplish anything at the center, because she gave barely any guidance, and at the same time whenever we (we being me and my co-directors Sara and Prashant) took initiative and made a decision to solve a problem, she would attack us and call us foolish, ignorant, and rude.
For example, we were worried about two of our 15 year-old boys, who are super behind in school, and if they don't pass an upcoming exam they will not be eligible for the free government-sponsored school. To top it off, they only attend a "catch-up" type tutorial 3 hours a week. They do not attend normal school like the other orphanage kids. These are the same 2 boys that we are trying to give english and math lessons to at the orphanage, 5 hours a day (what a joke- they hate it and don't show up). Anyways, so Sara and I went to speak to their tutor/teacher about this upcoming exam to see what material would be covered and how we could best prepare the boys. We also asked about the costs of increasing the hours of schooling the boys had with her (their classes actually only cost 80 cents per hour!!!). The meeting went well, and we happily reported it to Carol, feeling pleased that we had given her some options to consider for the boys' schooling.
No.
Instead she wrote several nasty emails saying "I am shocked that they would take my children whom they don't know at all and do this without even discussing, let alone asking. Shocked." (She considers these children her children, and I've even gotten an email from her saying how they are "practically from her womb." She even has them all call her Mommy, even though they all have mothers of their own).
And then "Do this again and you are fired. If you knew more you would not have, it was foolish. Either follow the rules of working for me, or don't work for me at all. Am I perfectly clear?"
And then the next one "You have caused us far greater trouble than you have any understanding of and it is exactly why I have not brought outsiders in and I feel I have made a big mistake by doing so now. I can't explain how foolish and long-term your doing such a thing is, and how much damage you've caused.
What damage? We merely asked questions so we could see what the options were to improve the quality of the boys' education! I thought that I was hired as a recent grad because I can think critically and come up with and implement creative solutions to problems. What I call taking initiative she considers totally unacceptable, apparently. And she doesn't even explain why. There was no explanation as to why what we did was wrong, all we got was a threat for dismissal.
We had quite a few exchanges like this, and then Sara and I realized we didn't have to be there. We are volunteers, contributing a year of our lives to this organization in a developing country and we paid out of our own pockets to do so. And this Carol woman clearly doesn't respect or appreciate me. The major reason I do community development work is because of the way it makes me feel-- I feel fulfilled and empowered by helping others. Carol's constant negativity and hostility instead made me feel really bad about myself (I took it very personally), and created tension between me and my co-directors, who are both fabulous people. It was just so much negative energy. On a more practical note, I also felt like I wasn't able to accomplish anything meaningful at the center because she made it so difficult to implement change. I wasn't doing anything to help the center, just sitting in a dim office in front of a computer all day, interacting with the kids only minimally because they were gone for much of the day. I felt like my time and efforts would be more useful at a different organization, where the administration trusted me and my decision-making and I was enabled rather than constrained.
On top of this, Rini, the cook, came back from her village about a week ago and was really ill. So Sara and I took her to a doctor, and the doctor diagnosed typhoid. Great- typhoid is spread through food-handling.... so we told her she couldn't cook. But she totally dismissed us, and was back in the kitchen cooking again a few days later. Supposedly typhoid can be cured if caught early and treated with antibiotics (which she was taking), but it seemed like a terrible situation. I'm vaccinated, but are the kids??? Sara and I were concerned, but our concerns went totally unacknowledged by Carol. (A few days later Rini ran away with $130- about 1/5 the center's monthly budget. What a mess!)
Saying goodbye to the kids was the hardest part. The looks on their face made Sara and I cry, and we felt sooooo bad to leave them, as they've been abandoned by so many of the people in their lives. We promised to keep in touch, but we are unsure if Carol will allow them to communicate with us. It's such a shame that we can't continue to work with these amazing kids, on account of my relationship with the founder....but the reality is that all organizations have wonderful, adorable children, and that I will be able to find one that is better managed and supports me as an individual.
It seems like a bad experience, I know... but I see it as a learning experience. I wanted a non-profit experience, and I sure did get one! I feel like I've learned so much in my short 2.5 weeks with IHF, about the challenges, the internal operations, and the general experience of a non-profit... about what sorts of questions to ask when starting to work with a non-profit, etc. I also learned I need to be way more careful when choosing an organization that deals with kids, because it is so easy to get attached, and their mental and emotional stability is at stake.
I feel like this is just the first of many non-profit experiences!
So... what next??? Sara and I are going to go to Bali for a week to relax and see some sights (yeah!), and then come back to Jakarta. We want to get an apartment or hostel room for the next few months and get some paid, part-time work to finance our trip. We can then do volunteer work on the side. I'm really excited at the prospect of living in Jakarta independently, and turning this into a live-abroad type experience!
We have been very lucky to have found the American Women's Association of Jakarta. SO lucky. Basically I was doing some online googling of opportunities and resources in Jakarta (this past weekend, before we resigned), and i stumbled across the AWA's website. It said they had a once weekly coffee chat, and it happened to be the next day. So Sara and I went to the center (a beautiful house!), met a bunch of ex-pat wives of oil businessmen, and had coffee and coffee cake and talked to them about our situation. They were so supportive! They gave us tons of ideas, and took our contact info so that they could put us in touch with their network of jakarta friends for paid/volunteer work. They asked if we had registered with the US embassy, and when we told them we hadn't (it hadn't even crossed my mind) they made us do it on the spot at their center. When they asked if we had cell phones, we said we didn't (it didn't really seem like a necessity), they said it was imperative for American women to have cell phones in case of an emergency. One of the women, Annette, said she wouldn't sleep that night if she knew we still didn't have phones, so she announced that AWA was going to sponsor phones for us. So a half hour later she took us (well, her driver did... all these women have personal drivers, paid for by the companies) to the mall and bought us phones. I am now the proud owner of a cell phone! Only condition is that we return the phones to the AWA when we leave Indonesia so that they can be re-used. No problem! ;-)
Another woman, Cathy, suggested that we apply for substitute teaching jobs, because you don't need a work permit to do the job and only need a Bachelors degree to qualify. So one of them took us to speak with the Australian International School about applying, and helped create a list of other international schools to apply at.
We asked another woman, Cari, (who is actually originally from Wales and has a lovely accent) if we could leave our suitcases at her house when we travelled to Bali... she said yes, of course, and came and picked us up from the orphanage even though we live on the other side of town (its like a 40 min drive with all the traffic!) She suggested we spend a night or 2 at her house to solidify our Bali plans, so we took her up on it. Her house is beautiful... very spacious, with all glass windows, a pool and courtyard outside, probably 4 or 5 bedrooms, and a maid and driver. When we first got to her house we had a nice lunch, and then she said she had a hair appointment, and why didn't we go with her to the salon so she could treat us to a spa service. The generosity just doesn't end! So we went to a beautiful salon, and she got us both an hour and a half massage (that was the duration of her hair apointment). Oh my god. It was amazing. The salon was beautiful too, with all the typical Asian decorations: tea candles, lotus flowers, goddess stautues, and doors that opened out to a patio with a pool and garden.
After the spa service, we went to a coffee shop and waited for her driver to come pick us up, and from there we went with her to a meeting of the Australian Women's Association to stuff goody bags for their upcoming gala event/fundraiser (she asked us earlier if we wouldn't mind coming along to help out). Of all the places I could be, and of all the things I could be doing, here I was drinking wine with older Australian women and stuffing bags. Life is so random.
This whole experience seems so surreal. I went from one extreme of indonesian life to another. Wow. This has been quite a trip thusfar; I am curious to see what the future has in store!
Tomorrow Sara and I are taking a bus to Bali. It's a 24 hour bus that will take us across the entire island of Java, onto a ferry across the ocean, and then onto the island of Bali. We have a hotel reservation in Sanur, which is supposed to be a fabulous beach area in southeast Bali.
Can't wait!!
xox, Allie
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